Revisions On My Paper

November 8, 2016 | | 1 Comment

I feel that workshops in general and the one that we had on Monday was helpful to improve our essay. My thesis for the second paper is even though Sherman Alexie and Harley Quinn are mentioned in dark novels, they can persuade readers to acknowledge their own identity and to deal with pain and poverty. Seeing this thesis now, I would fix so many things in this sentence. One thing I could change is making my thesis statement clearer by defining terms like “dark term” so the reader knows what these words mean. Also I made a mistake since instead of Sherman Alexie I should of put Arnold Spirit Junior. Because the main character in The Absolutely True Diary of a Part- Time Indian is Junior it would be appropriate to put his name instead of Alexie. A major thing I have to fix for my second essay is that I used a scholarly article that weakens my argument. In fact, Profesor Fleetwood suggests that by removing the paragraph that has the source in it will make my paper’s argument sound stronger. The whole point of doing this essay is to incorporate a secondary source that can aid the position of the topic. Therefore I need to find another secondary scholarly source that supports my point of view. Another thing that I have to change for this essay is that I have to work on organization and structure since it appears that the topic of my essay is changing thus making it confusing. Hopefully, these changes will result in a higher grade for the second essay.

–  Tajdidul Sefat


Comments



1 Comment so far

  1.    Zarraf Azim on November 9, 2016 6:05 pm

    Hey Tajdidul,
    I have to agree with you on the fact that the workshop classes do really help out a lot. I realized that there so many simple mistakes I made that I can easily fix to earn back some valuable points. I have a similar problem as you when it comes to the secondary source. My secondary source did seem to properly fit with my argument as planned so now I must find a way to reword it to make it sound better and actually fit my argument.

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